Flying solo has also forced Jessica to take an honest stock of her shortcomings, now that her members aren’t there to cover them up. “These days, I think a whole lot about myself. When I think about how I’ll be 30 in a few years, I feel weird and anxious. I don’t even really know what it is exactly that I’m anxious about. But now, more than anything else I keep thinking that I must live for myself, not for anyone else. Now that I’m alone, I have to personally take care of the deficiencies that the other members used to supplement for me. I am striving to be good at initiating conversation with people I meet for the first time and in general making people feel more comfortable around me.
“I guess when people see me they feel there is a wall [between me and them]. But I’m just not good at approaching people I’m not close to. As a result, I really have a hard time when I go to an event or awards ceremony alone. It’s like people won’t approach me unless I greet them first. I am working on slowly breaking down the walls in my personality,” she says.
Jessica reveals that during her difficult season her family has been her biggest source of support and comfort and that she recently went on vacation with her entire family, the first time she’s done so since her debut. “Whatever it is, I think after enduring a difficult time, a time of peace follows, especially when I look at how after going through hardships and a lot of time has passed, happy moments are gradually increasing [for me],” she says.